Revocet ad Vitam
by Paige394
Summary: Hermione is lost in grief, mourning the loss of Severus. How can she continue without him in her life, No real plot. Rated M for a reason
1. Chapter 1

REVOCET AD VITAM

The moonlight streamed through the large windows, illuminating Hermione's way down the corridor. Once again she had awakened after a few hours restless sleep. Once again she found herself wandering the deserted halls of the old school, rather than toss and turn for the rest of the night. Once again she knew where she would eventually end up. No matter which part of the castle she decided to walk she always found herself back in the same place.

Her breath caught in her throat as she rounded the corner and there he was. His dark hair framing his pale face, his black robes pooling at his feet. Taking the last few steps she stopped in front of him, looking up into his eyes. She reached up her hand, fingers drawing down his cheek the feel of paint on canvas rough beneath her touch.

Standing in front of the magical portrait she had never felt so alone. Dumbledore had commissioned the portrait before his death and it had been kept in storage until after the war. After Severus's death and his subsequent status of war hero it had been placed on the wall of the castle. Hermione had spent many hours in front of the magical portrait since she had returned to Hogwarts, wiling him to move or talk to her. The thing was the painting had never worked, no one could offer an explanation why it didn't, it just didn't.

She stepped back finding her usual spot on the windowsill, she sat and studied the painting. She had seen many first years run past without looking up, they claimed it was too stern for them. Hermione had never thought so; in fact she thought that the artist had caught a softer Severus. There was a gentleness in his eyes that few people had seen when he was alive.

She had been one of the lucky few to see the better side of him that he kept hidden from public view. It had started on the long nights they had spent holed up in Grimauld Place. At first when they had both wanted to use the library they had each been too stubborn to be the one to leave, reading their books in uncomfortable silence. Their relationship had started slowly, with mutual greetings when each entered the room. It then moved on to comments on what each other was reading and suggestions as to what would be a recommended read next. Eventually they had begun to discuss methods and theories they had read about. Then comfortable with each other they could spend hours in heated discussions over differences of opinions.

It had been during one of these exchanges that Severus had called her insufferable and that she loved to argue just for the sake of arguing. Hermione hated being called that word, it had taken her straight back to the classroom. She had rounded on Severus exclaiming that they were not arguing just that they were involved in a vigorous exchange of opinions. He had then done something that took her by surprise, he had broken out into laughter. Not a snort or a derisory sneer, it was an all out laugh and Hermione thought it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.

She had not realized until later that that was the moment when her feelings towards him had changed to love. She only came to that realization when she had been informed that Severus had died. She had tried to help him as he lay on that dusty floor, desperately searching to find anything that may keep him alive. She had administered anti venom and a blood replenisher, hoping that it would keep him alive until help could be sent. It had not been until the battle was over that Hermione had been told that Severus' body had been found and he had not survived.

The news had hit her hard, so hard that it had made her realize that she had actually fallen in love with him. She had withdrawn into herself not wanting to see anyone, locking herself away in her room. The only people she would let in had been Harry and Ron but it soon became clear they did not understand why she mourned the Professor's loss so deeply. After a few months of visiting her they had told her that they were going away to play international Quidditch but that they would still visit often. Gradually the gaps between visits had gotten longer until they were virtually non-existent. It had not bothered her at all, lost in her hopeless grief.

Nearly a year had gone by when she had received a letter from Professor McGonagall asking if she would be interested in a post at Hogwarts. They had hired a wizard to fill the post of potions master but due to the large amounts of fatalities in the war the one they had was not of the standard that they were used to. It was felt that if he had help it might give him support through the first few years. Hermione liked the idea of going back to the school. Being surrounded by the things that Severus had used every day had appealed to her and she had accepted the offer. Eventually it had become clear that the new potions master was struggling and he decided to resign. Hermione had stepped in to temporarily cover until Minerva had found a replacement but that had been two years ago and Hermione was still in the job.

Hermione sighed, three years on and she was still in the same place emotionally, she couldn't move on. Keeping herself busy during the day was easy but it was the nights that she found herself struggling. She had gotten used to a couple of hours sleep, it was the long hours waiting for the sun to come up that Hermione hated. She would read and mark papers but she knew that it was inevitable that she would be drawn to Severus's portrait every night.

Hermione had never felt so alone and lost; she felt the tears stinging behind her eyes.

"Why did you have to leave me Severus? I don't think I can bear being without you any longer." Her voice was ragged and full of emotion. "I love you so much my heart aches." She bent her head covering her face with her hands and allowed the tears to flow.

"Please, don't cry, Hermione." The rich, deep tones that had been haunting her for months sounded in her ears. For a second she thought that she had imagined the voice she had been longing to hear. She dropped her hands and looked up to the painting and straight into the eyes of Severus looking down at her.

"My god! It's working!" she stood up and stepped toward the portrait. "What happened? How is this possible?"

"The painting has always worked." Severus answered. "It was I who chose not to communicate with people."

"All the nights I have sat here willing for you to talk to me and all that time you could have spoken to me." She balled her hands into fists as she felt the anger rising in her. "Why would you do that to me Severus?"

"I wanted to say something so many times but I thought you were pining for the Weasley boy. " He replied. "I was unaware of your feelings for me. I could never dare hope that you would care for me as I do for you"

"No, it's you Severus. It's always been you." She took a small step toward his image. "I didn't realize until it was too late and every day I have struggled to come to terms with your death."

" I had no idea, Hermione."

"I miss you Severus, I miss talking to you when I find something interesting. I miss seeing you every day around the school. I miss sitting with you while we read in silence. I just miss you all the time, I thought it would get easier over time but it just gets harder."

"What if I told you that you didn't have to live like that anymore.'" He gave her a slight smile. "That we could be together."

"How would that be possible? You died Severus."

"Technically."" He paused, eyebrow raised, "That is not entirely correct."

"What! How? I saw the snake bite you. I watched as they brought your body back to the castle." Her voice cracked with emotion. "I went to your funeral, Severus."

"You tried to help me, Hermione as I lay on that floor, you administered potions and anti venom. Well, that bought me time."

"Time? Time to do what?" she asked.

"Time to put a spell in place that I had been working on. A spell that placed my body into deep stasis while it had chance to heal." He explained. "To all outside examinations I would have appeared to have died. A spell that would stay in place until I decided whether to come back"

"But you didn't." She said sadly, thinking of all the months she had suffered through.

"I had no reason to come back." His eyes searched hers. "Do I have one now?"

"I can't think of anything I would want more." Hermione's heart leapt in her chest at the thought of him coming back. "Is it possible?"

"Yes, if everything I put in place works I can't see why it wouldn't be possible." He hesitated before continuing "I can't do this alone so there are a couple of things that you should be aware of before we do this."

"I'll do anything, Severus." She replied.

"Firstly we must join our magic together. Mine will have to latch on to your core for it to be a strong enough bond to pull me back." He frowned down at her. "It will be very painful, Hermione."

"I don't care how much it hurts me, if it means I get you back." She said.

"Also, once the connection is made it can never be broken. If successful we would have to spend the rest of our lives together." Severus studied her face as he explained. "To begin with we would have to be constantly in each others company. Eventually, over time we will be able to be parted but it will never be for more than a few days at a time."

Hermione stared up at him, she couldn't think of anything she wanted more than to be with him.

"So, what do you think?" he asked. His eyes searching hers as she stood silently in front of him.


	2. Chapter 2

REVOCET AD VITAM CHAPTER 2

Her bare feet slapped against the stone floor as she ran down the corridor. Her slippers had been lost on one of the staircases as she had rushed to get to Severus's tomb. All the time they had wasted and now there was a chance for her to have him back in her life. Running as fast as she could, the instructions Severus had given her going over and over in her mind. This has to work she thought to herself, she couldn't bear to be so disappointed.

She reached the entrance to the Slytherin dungeons, in a recess in the wall stood his tomb. It was constructed from plain stone; there was no decoration anywhere on the outside, the only adornment was his name carved simply on the top. She took out her wand and levitated the large slab of stone away from the tomb.

Hesitantly she took a step forward, not knowing what she would see inside. She need not have worried; Severus lay in front of her as if he was just sleeping, his pale skin reflected the moonlight and his dark hair spread out on the pillow. She reached out and picked up his wand from his chest, taking his hand she wrapped his fingers around the handle. His skin cool to her touch as she held the wand in place and put the tip against her temple. She then placed the tip of her own wand against his temple joining them in a circle, she began to recite the spell Severus had taught her.

"Revocet ad vitam, Revocet ad vitam." She chanted over and over.

At first she thought that nothing was happening but she kept on going, determined for it to work. She began to feel a stinging sensation in her hand; steadily it began to move up her arm and down her body finally it settled in her stomach,building in intensity. As she continued to repeat the spell she started to experience waves of pain begin to flow out of her. Each time a wave pulsed out of her it got stronger and stronger, she tried to keep her voice even as she carried on. The only thing on her mind was to bring Severus back; nothing was going to stop her.

She gasped as her body was hit by a huge wave of pain, more forceful than any before. She knew that she could take no more and felt as though she was near to passing out. She doubled over in agony, dropping both the wands as she fell into the darkness enveloping her.

SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG SSHG

Her mind felt cloudy as she tried to pull herself back into consciousness. She was aware of the softness beneath her and that she could feel someone sat beside her. She felt the familiar texture of her candlewick bedspread and she knew she was back in her quarters. How had she gotten back here? Clarity spread through her, Severus? Had he brought her here?

She opened her eyes and looked straight into the face of the man she loved, the man who she believed she had lost forever. His expression one of worry, sat with his hands clasped on his lap and his back stiff. She wanted to sit up and throw her arms around him, tell him how she loved him but there was something about his demeanor that made her hold back. His whole manner seemed to be that he was closed off to her; she would hate to be rejected by him.

"It worked, you're really here!" instinctively she reached her hand out to touch his face to check that he was real. Her hand hesitated before touching him and she drew it away.

"How do you feel, Hermione?" he asked.

"I'm fine, now that you are here with me." She was struggling to work out why he was being so cold to her, had he not told her that he loved her. She realized that he had actually never said that he loved her just that he had feelings for her. Had she been foolish? Had she jumped to the conclusion that she wanted to hear?

"We have to talk about what happens next, Hermione. Things need to be clarified."

"I don't need to talk Severus, I told you how I felt in the corridor. Nothing has changed for me, I want to be with you, and it's all I want."

"We have to be sure. Before I died we were friends, we could spend time with each other and enjoy our time together. We know that we can have a relationship on that level, which we could spend the rest of our lives living as friends. If we decide to become more than friends and it doesn't work out, what then? That is a long time to spend with someone you hate. You would be tied to me Hermione, every day spent with someone you don't like." He stood up and turned from the bed, walking across the room to stand beside a fireplace. "I don't know if I could stand for you to waste your life for me. To spend each day knowing that you disliked me."

Hermione's heart began to race, pounding heavily in her chest. She broke out into a cold sweat, sitting up her head began to spin and she felt sick.

"Severus, something is not right." Her voice full of panic. "What is happening to me?"

"Oh fuck!" He exclaimed and rushed back to the bed, taking her arms he gently lowered her back down. "I am so sorry it is too soon for us to be apart."

As soon as his hands had touched her skin she had begun to feel better. Slowly her heart calmed until she felt it steady itself. She could feel Severus's thumbs as they tenderly stroked back and forth on her arms. The skin underneath his touch felt so alive, like nothing she had felt before. She could feel something passing between them, a tingling sensation like electricity flowed, energising her skin.

"Can you feel that Hermione?" His voice deep and seductive. "That is our magic, we are connected nothing can ever change that now."

"It feels amazing." She closed her eyes, allowing herself to just enjoy how she was feeling.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked her, leaning down closer to her.

"No, please don't." she opened her eyes. She could see the want in his gaze that she knew was reflected in her own. His long fingers traced across her shoulders, over the straps of her nightdress to her collarbones. Lazily he stroked back and forth, she watched him fascinated by the look of passion on his face. Her gaze dropped to his mouth, longing to feel his lips on hers. She reached up a hand behind his head, entwining her fingers in his hair pulling him nearer. She felt him resisting his eyes searched hers.

"Are you sure this is what you truly want, Hermione?" he asked. "There is no going back once we have crossed this line."

"Oh I think that we have already crossed the line, don't you?"

His mouth claimed hers in a kiss, she opened up to him allowing him access. She had never been kissed like this before, losing herself in the pleasure of it.

His lips moved away from hers and went to her throat, his warm mouth sliding down her neck. He placed small kisses against her skin as he worked his way toward her chest. She heard him muttering underneath his breath, their clothes disappeared as the spell took effect. She would have thought that she would have been self-conscious being laid before him naked but she was relishing what he was going to do to her.

Little bolts of desire shot through her body as he took her nipple into his mouth running his tongue around the hardened peak. She pushed her chest forward, gasping as he sucked harder. Her hands moved to his head as she held him in place, sighing with pleasure. He ran his hands down across her hips, caressing her skin, leaving trails of fire as he moved lower.

Hooking his arms under her legs he slowly bent them, positioning himself between her thighs. She raised her head, allowing herself to watch him, seeing him lick his lips before he lowered his head to her core. He took her clitoris into his mouth; arching her back she threw her head back. She knew it would not take much to push her over the edge.

He wrapped his arms around her legs, linking his fingers together holding her in place as he licked and nibbled at her. Her breathing became heavy as she felt herself climbing closer and closer to her release. Tightening his hold on her he continued to drive her wild, plunging his tongue deep inside of her as she bucked and writhed against him. She could take no more as she felt her body explode, waves of pleasure flowing through her making her shudder and quiver as she climaxed.

She tried to catch her breath as her body came down from the force of her orgasm, her shuddering calming down as she recovered. Severus released her and began to climb up her body, placing little kisses along the way. He lay lightly on top of her, watching her face as she gathered herself together. She could feel the tip of his member between her folds as he rubbed against her, covering it in her juices. Her eyes flew open as he brushed against he tender core, sending a flash of pleasure through her.

He took his hand and lowered it between them, reaching down he positioned his cock at her entrance, she moaned as his thumb slowly stroked her clit. She heard his slow intake of breath as he gradually he started to push himself inside her. She could tell he was much bigger than Victor had been and was grateful for the time to accommodate him.

He once again captured her lips, his tongue plundered her mouth. She raised her legs, her feet against his buttocks, pulling him deeper with each thrust. His kiss was hot and demanding, his tongue hungrily explored her mouth. Her hands clawed at his back, fingernails raking down his skin as she clung on to him.

Taking her hips in his hands he shifted her, the angle giving him deeper penetration. She cried out as the head of his cock found the sweet spot deep inside her.

Each of his thrusts took her higher and higher, closer to another release. He began to speed up, her walls tightening around his shaft grasping at him, pulling him in. Her breathing ragged, her back arched, as the sensations overtaking her body grew stronger. Severus groaned and she felt him stiffen, his thrust became erratic as he emptied himself inside her. Pushing her over the edge, ecstasy flowed round her body as she came apart underneath him.

Laid together, cheek to cheek, Hermione felt his warm breath against her ear. Neither of them moving their bodies glistening with perspiration, still joined as their heartbeats calmed to a steady rhythm. He raised his body from hers, taking most of his weight from her. She looked into his dark eyes as he stared intently at her, as if he could see deep into her soul.

"You know that I love you, don't you Hermione?" He said. "This won't be easy, we could drive each other crazy."

"I don't care if we do! I spent the last few years miserable without you and now we have the chance to be together I'm not going to waste a minute. I love you and that is all that is important to me." She smiled up at him, love shining in her eyes. "As long as we are together, nothing else matters."


End file.
